Even If It Had Been Many Beautiful Days of My Life.

Facebook archive. First published 24.11.2025.

Even if it had been many beautiful days of my life. I would still have come to this question. I am constantly dissatisfied. Nothing is right for me, nothing matches my expectations. Logically, from this question comes the answer: “If you do not like it — change it!”

Now it is necessary to understand what exactly needs to be changed. Looking ahead, I will say that yoga says to change your desires. Put more simply, to cancel them. No desires — no expectations. No expectations — no dissatisfaction with exactly how something happened or did not happen.

Comparatively recently, I was able to understand how to get answers to my questions through meditation. And since the world is one great consciousness, we are always interacting with a living consciousness. Meditations merely give form to this fragment of universal consciousness. This is how the spirit of the library appeared in my life. I do not even know whether this is a real spirit, and whether she is connected, because this is the image of a crazy granny, with the library. But this granny gives valuable advice.

To all my attempts to convey to her the complexity of human incarnation, and how much suffering there is in it, she answers with simple and understandable phrases. Once I complained to her that I did not have enough motivation to do something. She rolled her eyes and said: “Oh, so you also need motivation! What for? Can one do something in your human incarnation without motivation or not?”

And indeed, we breathe without motivation. In order to exist, motivation is sort of unnecessary. To wake up, motivation is not needed. To get out of bed, motivation is sometimes needed, but not in order to wake up. You woke up, and that is all. There are interesting activities, and there are uninteresting ones. Often we “must” do uninteresting activities for something. And uninteresting activities we must do in order to get what we want. In fact, it is for uninteresting activities that we need motivation, a kind of carrot in front of the donkey's muzzle.

Has anyone tried to live and not do uninteresting activities? If yes, then only for a very short period of time. Then we return to a life full of motivation.

I am not in resource — there is such a fashionable phrase, or in resource — the opposite phrase. What does resource have to do with it? Do we need a resource in order to breathe? No. Just breathe calmly, without motivation and without understanding a resource state.

In exploring desires, I found that they are controlled. We are obedient monkeys deceived by higher powers. Desires are constantly being tossed to us, and we are constantly dissatisfied with their realization, and, in the worst situation, with the absence of realization of our desires.

To control your destiny, first you need to figure out what destiny is. To understand how its mechanisms are arranged. We do not get behind the wheel of a car without basic knowledge of wheels, fuel, and road signs, do we? But practically everyone drives their destiny without a license, goes into the oncoming lane, and forgets about refueling. That is where all the problems come from.