So You Say, Venezuela…

Oculus archive. First published on 05.01.2026.

Let’s look carefully at the list of countries participating in the nuclear club: Russia, the United States, China, France, Great Britain, India, Pakistan, the DPRK, and Israel. I do not see Venezuela on this list, but I do see the United States. And this means that a nuclear power can do anything it wants to non-nuclear powers. It is logical to assume that all non-nuclear powers will now want to become nuclear, because NATO is powerless against a member country of the nuclear club.

Donald, fuck your mother, nehaj! After all, it would have been possible to seize Crimea, buy an aircraft carrier at the military surplus store, scratch the U.S. flag onto it, and dress the Navy SEALs up as Sea Lions; why not, still sort of feline in name. And with all this junk, annex Crimea. Then, by advice of the head of the Sea Lions, return it to Ukraine. Donald, and to make it clearer who has the more nuclear-ish missile, at the very same time, from the other side, use the same kind of aircraft carrier with Sea Lions to annex Sakhalinka, Khabadovsky and Trimorsky krais. And after all that, give them to China.

I think Sakhalinka with the krais and China itself would be pleased. Now that, I understand, would be an act. But instead of stopping a bully from beating one little kid, to start beating another little kid in front of the bully - that definitely will not work.

After Venezuela, armchair analysts should already be moving from popcorn to heavier things, crackers or sunflower seeds or something.

Have you people in your pentagrams gone completely nuts? What mushrooms are you eating there, or cacti? I can see the picture right before my eyes, as if it were alive:

• Ukraine cannot handle Roshia. We need to smack Venezuela. - says General A.

• And why Venezuela? - Donald asks.

• Puting has a second cousin’s grandmother living there. - said General B.

• Or maybe we should still seize Crimea, as Vova Kraine advises? - General Steven asked.

• Nah, his name is sketchy, it resembles the name of some dictator, and besides, he wrote his advice in Russian, Puting has already read everything - there will be no element of surprise. - Donald said sadly.

• And if after the war with Venezuela Puting attacks Europe? - General B asked in fear.

• Oh, what war, we will just go there, grab the president and his family, and come back, nobody will even understand that it was us. - General A squealed so joyfully.

• No, but still, what if he attacks? - General B asked.

• Then we will hand out leaflets to Europeans on how to behave during war. - General A suggested.

General B and General Steven silently stared at the American flag, while Donald abruptly stood up and said: - Decided, there and back. Maybe indeed nobody will notice.

Donald, everyone noticed. We noticed so much that it would have been better if our eyes had never seen it.

If you tell the same thing without jokes, it becomes frightening to realize where all this will lead us.

We need to switch to crackers; we will not need teeth soon anyway.